I can be a sucker for love. I mean flash back to years ago, I used to be the girl who would never wear red though, but would be stuck in stores, a day to Valentine’s day looking for that perfect gift I usually would have dreamt up a few days to the D day. For me Valentine ’s Day meant a lot of all the mushy…lovey dovey things you can think of and with all the mushiness came the high expectations. Each year I wanted something and each year I watched how I got an entirely different gift.

So yes, my hopes were dashed non-stop for a couple of years. As a lady a little difference means a whole lot and so you can imagine how disappointed I felt when I got a silver wristwatch when I wanted rose gold or how I wanted a romantic evening only to have my gift handed to me just as I was getting off the car and yes No romantic evening that year. Yeah, looking back now, it is easy to call me petty and vain but then wait until you hear others’ and you would realize that there is indeed a whole world of difference between being real and being vain.

Now back to learning the hard way, it took me years before I realized that away from the cliché exchange of gifts and all, Valentine means whatever you make it to mean. I have gotten surprise gifts when I least expect…I mean amazing gifts on an ordinary title less day for doing nothing. I have had amazing fun without it being Valentine ’s Day and so what really is all the fuss about self? Anyhoo I cannot say that I still don’t get tears in my eyes when I get a surprise gift for no reason. Or I don’t go soft whenever I get that romantic weekend that helps get my folks off my back. So it is a given, I used to be a hopeless romantic but now I have become a wiser romantic.

The size of the gift don’t matter to me if you cannot trust me when I say ‘hey baby I would be going to the movies with a friend.’ The relevance of the gift is nothing if we have been on some meaningless quarrel for days or weeks. You could buy me everything and I would still feel lonely if you are not always available when I need you. Love is a lot more than a day’s celebration which could very easily be a pretentious display of affection.

So love me today, love me like I mean a lot to you and I would take that Swatch over Marc Jacobs. Trust me to be true when you are not around and I would understand when you hand me an unwrapped bottle of Femme by Hugo Boss. Your long winding story of being in recession would make a whole lot of sense if you make my day every day and complete my incomplete 24hours every day. If you can ditch the extreme anger at the sound of my voice saying ‘I am sorry’, then I wouldn’t want for anything else.

Life has taught me the real essence in existence. Maybe not for you but for me and many others like me who can relate, I am looking at the bigger picture, what really lies beneath because an empty bottle of that expensive perfume cannot hold the tears I cry from the pain you cause me when we have those meaningless fights. No romantic dinner can fill my stomach after you leave me yearning for closure over those arguments that leave me with so much to say to your deaf eyes.

Finally, just as I had to learn, you would have to learn your own way what means more to you and just how significant Valentine’s day is in that journey of yours called ‘love.’

BY Maureen Alasa

NB – Valentine Special…Join the conversation by telling me one thing you have learnt over the years about the true meaning of Valentine. Send your entries by registering or commenting here.
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